almost at the 5th stage: Acceptance (of what it means to go to the gym)

It’s been a couple of weeks since I started going to the gym again. I am less whinny about it now. Yes, almost. I have come to terms with the fact that some people will smell and that some guys are committed to the whole ‘if you love your balls set them free’ thing. I have also accepted that gyms are not clean places, that you will be in contact with other people’s sweat, and your sense of smell will be violated by the B.O. of the stubbornly unwashed.

I found the following graph to be fairly accurate so far. (click to embiggen)

what happens when joining a gymI have seen only a tiny improvement in my fitness because it is still early days but I wish I could see results faster so it doesn’t feel like I’m wasting my time. Well, I’m a Generation Y-er so the instant gratification expectations are almost assumed here. However, I’m trying to take advantage of this by trying harder. I just want to see at least a small change before the thoughts of giving up start creeping in.

It’s not meant to be easy, I get it. So I will continue to be a constantly sore wreck, standing in front of the internets, asking you to keep encouraging me.

procrastination causes braindeadiness

The end is coming! It is! Blogathon will be ending soon! I don’t think I remember what life is like without Blogathon. I have been dealing with it since Thursday night, since my family kept me busy until then. Group emails, tweets, making some changes to the blog template, cursing because I broke the template, fixing it, more group emails, calls, instant messages…

It’s all for a good cause though and I volunteered to do this so I would never complain. In fact I’ve been enjoying this. It’s nice to do things you want with people who want to do them. This is only my second time participating in Blogathon as a blogger and this year’s experience has been much better than the previous. Plus, I don’t think I’d have made it to the end if I did it on my own. I’d probably have pulled out half my hair and destroyed my blog by now (I tend to break it by accident every time I’m in a rush).

This reminds that I discovered a bald spot in my left eyebrow. I don’t know why or how but I woke up and there was a bald spot! I have talked about how I am very clumsy and tend to discover scratches and bruises on me that I don’t remember getting but this is different. I’ve also been noticing other weird things. Lately I keep catching myself doing the stupidest things. What is happening to me? When did I become the person who cannot remember to not speak while he has mouthwash in his mouth? Yes, I made a mess.

I think it might have to do with the fact that I haven’t been doing much with my brain over the past couple of weeks. I’ve been very lazy and I guess it’s true what they say. Your brain is a muscle, if you don’t use it, you lose it and let’s just say that I’ve been finding myself with time to floss, time to clean, to discover that my duvet fits in the washing machine, etc.

Starting this Monday I should be getting back into my uni work. I have to start and finish my dissertation by the end of September. Although it sounds like a long time it’s not. There are a lot of things than need to be done. I have a lot of reading, writing and referencing to do. Preferably I should use half the time to research and write it and the rest to make correction/revisions and “last minute” additions which aim to improve the grade.

Having said all this, I know what I’m like and I can see myself procrastinating another week away. What do you tend to do when you procrastinate or get lazy?

next time I’ll have that coffee and skip the misery

You wake up at 6 in the evening because you slept at 10 in the morning. Your sleeping schedule is too screwed up to bother thinking about it right now. Something’s not right, you had another weird dream. You think it’s a good idea to not have any coffee now because your new-found optimism suggests that this will help you sleep at a more appropriate time for a change.

You are wrong, not only will this not help but you will also be cranky for the rest of your waking hours. Admitting it is the first step and you, my sad, slow-thinking and profoundly clumsy self have become addicted to caffeine. All these coffee flavoured years of your life have come back to bite you in the ass but you’re not sorry you did it. In fact, you’d do it again.

You haven’t blogged for days and you haven’t shaved in as many. Your summer vacation has taken a weird and unexpected turn. Unexpected because you recently received some wonderful news which does not explain why you feel so miserable right now. You should be on a constant high.

The papers were congratulating you. You are now a scientist. Well, you’re a “Computer Scientist” but saying just “scientist” is funnier. This is another thing you haven’t told the internets. Your results were better than what you expected and you’ll be graduating next week. Hurrah! You realise that things will be different in your life from now on but then you remember.

“Oh…!” There was another envelope. You were offered a place at that Masters degree course you applied to. You feel like uni will never be over. You’ll be the eternal student having a heart attack while frantically trying to take notes of what the lecturer is talking about. Of course you’re complaining, it’s in your nature, and after this last year it’s become the only way you can communicate. You find things to complain about even when the news are great.

You realise you wrote a whole post referring to yourself in the second-person. You loathe yourself.

2 down, 2 to go (my brain hates me)

We are waiting to be called in the exam room. The time goes by and we’re all telling each other how we are not ready for this and dreading the exam. Some laugh nervously, others sit in a corner and one is in the wrong place altogether. Seriously, he’s meant to be somewhere else for a different exam but he doesn’t know. He realises he should had gone in with the previous group and tries to convince us that we are all wrong and it is us who are waiting in the wrong place. He goes to check and we never see him again.

Then one of the examiners opens the doors to let us in to the room. We all take our seats and so I choose a desk as far away from people as possible. Today everything seems more informal, it is a smaller room than last week’s and the examiners are not as uptight. We sit down and within 5 minutes we are casually told that we can now start.

I begin to read.

1. This question is on UML and OCL, the…

-Candymaaaaaaaaan! Hey! Candy Maaaaaan!

– No, this can’t be happening. I thought it was over!

– Who can take the sunriiiiise?

– No! No! Shut up!

the Object Constraint Language. The following type diagram represents a…

– Sprinkle it with dewwww…

– Arghhh! Stop it!

– Cover it with chocolate and a miracle or twoooo

– This is not good.

I keep reading through the rest of the questions and try to answer what I can while this plays over and over in my head.

– The candy man can ’cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste goooooood…

By the second hour of the exam I have surrendered to the madness. My feet now move along to the full on band going off in my head in dolby surround.

– Talk about your childhood wishes, you can even eat the dishes!

How can you be upset about doing crappy on an exam when you have this song in your head?

– Who can take the rainbow (who can take the rainboooow)
Wrap it in a sigh (wrap it in a siiiiigh)
Soak it in the sun
And make a groovy lemon pie?

Yes, there were backing vocals too. Why does my brain hate me? Why won’t the voices in my head stop torturing me at the worst possible times?

most embarrassing pizza order ever

– Hello. You’ve called “… Pizza” my name is “…”, how can I help you?

– Hi, could I make an order please?

– Certainly! What kind of pizza would you like?

– I would like one Large, Stuffed Crotch Meaty Pi-…

– *bursts into laughter*

– Oh god! *starts to laugh uncontrollably* I’m so sorry! I meant Stuffed Crust!

– *trying to catch her breath but still laughing* That’s okay.

– Oh no, this is so embarrassing, I’m really sorry. Okay, let me try that again without the Freudian slip.

– Sure.

We kept laughing until the end of the phone call.