deodorant, it does a body good

Wow! It is my last post for this shift and I already feel exhausted! It’s not easy guys! Especially when things don’t work the way you want them or when you have to switch computers half way through a post… Gah! Moving on but I might be a little late posting this.

Last week I had a bunch of family members coming over to stay here for a few days. That meant my parents, my brother and a cousin. My cousin is 24. She just graduated from Uni. She is going to be a teacher. She will teach French (as that’s what she was studying). She also loves France and everything French. And on the second day of her being here she casually announced that she doesn’t wear deodorant because she believes it is harmful. Also she stated that since she stopped using one she no longer smells.

It was such a short conversation and I was so tired when she said it that it did not register properly in my head when she told us. Until Thursday when I had a wake-up call. Or is there such a thing as wake-up smell?

Throughout the week I was asked to run around London to show her around (as if I live there) and take her to museums and other tourist attractions. I remember that I kept smelling things. Things that are not pleasant. Since I quit smoking my smelling sense has become better at picking things up so I didn’t think it was her. I actually thought it was me! I kept checking! Honestly! And it’s not a pretty sight when a guy lifts up his arm and smells his armpit in the middle of the National Gallery in front of Picasso’s “Child with a Dove”.

So at some point on Thursday I was burning a DVD for her with all the photos we took and she decided to come show me the ones she wanted. She decided to sit on my lap. I almost fainted. She kept moving her arms pointing at things in the photos and I could feel myself drifting away into a coma induced by the toxic fumes coming out of her pores.

I had to excuse myself and say I needed to go to the bathroom so I could escape my stench induced passing out. I think body odours that can be avoided, should. If you’re not going to use deodorant then at least wash every few hours. Spare those around you! We shouldn’t be dropping like flies because you smell bad.

5 thoughts on “deodorant, it does a body good

  1. Heh! I love your subtle, almost imperceptible implication about the French and deodorant. I’m six or eight generations removed from my namesake so, it’s no ‘skin off my nose’ so-to-speak.

    I recently started getting a rash from deodorant and so far (cool summer) just a splash of rubbing alcohol has done the trick. You might kindly tell her that she smells like roadkill and suggest that as a solution.

    You’re off to a good start. I can’t wait to see how depraved you get near the end. 😉

  2. @Sodapop: I didn’t want to offend her. She’s family after all. Now I know to keep my distance.

    @Poe: I didn’t want to cause any problems. She might had been offended and she’s family. I don’t like to offend family. Unless it’s my brother. 😛

  3. @Etienne: LMAO! I was wondering if anyone would get the French thing. Well, she mentioned something about using rubbing alcohol but she never did it. At least she showered twice a day.

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