I thought I’d let everyone know that if you’re in fear of going to Hell, that’s ok. You can still buy your way into heaven by visiting this site, Reserve a Spot in Heaven! You can buy the Essential Travel Kit for only $12.79 USD! But you have a limited time, Heaven can get crowded pretty fast! Oh and if you’re not satisfied, there is a money back guarantee!
“But wait Yoshi,” you say, “What if I don’t want to go to Heaven? I heard it’s really boring!”
That’s ok true believer! You can also Reserve your spot in Hell! That’s right! Here’s a quote from the site: What sounds better, singing songs and reading books in Heaven or taking shots with strippers in Hell? We’ll let you decide!
That’s right folks, buy yourself a one way ticket to Hell for only $12.79 USD! You better hurry, because quantities are limited! Hurry now!