What a week! Actually, how long has it been since the last time I wrote a real post? I have no idea. I know it’s been a long time, I know that much. I have become something I never thought I’d be. I work, eat and sleep. I have no time to spend on anything for myself, just by myself. I have so much I want to write about yet I never find the time or energy to write about them. I’m either busy at work or knackered at home. During the few hours in between, I either have no brain to master anything more than breathing or I’m out with friends trying to catch up with the happenings in their lives.

I am lucky to have so many friends. I am lucky because I can live vicariously through them.

Basically I need to chill the fuck out. Before I crash and burn. But there is no chilling for the caffeinated. We scream, we twitch, we jump and go paranoid with every single thing around us. Well maybe it’s not that bad for everyone but sometimes I can get crazy like this.

Things haven’t changed much since my last post. I still have no boyfriend. I still have a job that might not pay incredibly well but at least it does pay something. I still feel healthy (well kind of, I keep finding weird bruises and scrapes but I suppose that’s just me being clumsy and not even noticing anymore). I still have friends and a family that loves me and that I love back. What has changed is my taste in music. This is never a good sign.

It means I am experiencing emotional frustration. Suddenly all those emo songs don’t sound so silly any more. No I am not joking! I am, however, going to see someone about it if it doesn’t go away soon.

My emotional frustration is not visible to the untrained eye though. Only really close friends can tell. I was at this pub a couple of weeks ago and all of the sudden a bunch of tanned, effortlessly cool looking, 18-year-olds came in with an American accent. They were giving out condoms trying to promote the “C’mons” (those MTV stuffed dolls, which I adore by the way but can’t seem to find in any shop). They gave each of us one but they gave me an extra three. I suppose I looked like I was having a lot of sex or maybe just more sex than the people I was with. I do not know. All I know is that those condoms have been sitting there, on my night stand, mocking me ever since.

One other thing; what happened to 80’s nights? I was given a “We love the 90’s” flyer for a local club today. When did 80’s nights become 90’s nights? Are you people trying to freak me out about my age prematurely? Amie I know how you feel. Also do you people realise how absurd this sounds? The 90’s were only 6 years ago! You still play songs from the 90’s on regular nights anyway! Or is that just student nights while all the drunken 18-year-olds scream the lyrics just like mindless masses in unison?

I don’t know what else to say. I was drunk when I started writing this and now my hangover is starting to kick in. I’m not used to writing so long posts anymore, that’s why it’s taken so long. Goodnight internets. Oh yeah, and refresh your browsers to see the new masthead.

Related posts:
to my Best Friend
Student Life
fresher for life - no more, watch - no more
i missed having a life but it’s on my to do list…
mmmMonday!

Written by Colin Brooks on 11.10.06 at 12:55 am.