therapy in the making » a note to my neighbour

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Jul

a note to my neighbour

To the neighbour that had sex last night and was screaming his head off,

Thank you for proving that I would, at some point in my life, wish my ears would fall off. I guess I lost that bet. Here’s something you should never forget: The back street where my bedroom (and apparently yours also) sees, ECHOES. However, here are some pointers:

If you’re screaming louder than the woman, you’re doing something wrong
You should not pursue a career in singing
In fact, I don’t think you should even be allowed to yell
I didn’t hear the passion in your voice
Your should never do porn and if you do don’t let them film it in Dolby Surround
Your G was a bit flat
The ending was a little sudden, try to work on that and don’t sound so surprised next time

Thank you for your attention,
Colin

Written by Colin Brooks on 29.07.07 at 3:32 am.

11 Responses to “a note to my neighbour”

Pandora said:

Ahahahahaha. God. That’s frickin’ amazing. Ha. I’m sorry you had to put up with it, but your commentary is hilarious.
Commented on July 29th, 2007 at 3:43 am
Adrian said:

I have a similar, but slightly crappier story. When I moved into my old place at 11pm every night I would hear this ’squeeeeeeek, squeeeeeek, squeeeeek, squeeeek, squeeek, squeek… BANG! 11pm every night, it was so regular I could set a clock by it. One day I mentioned this to the guy living downstairs, how boring the sex the people upstairs must be having. He turned blue right in front of me and keeled over laughing. That squeeking sound wasn’t bed springs, it was them winding down the awning. Long squeeks at the start when they were working up the momentum, until BANG! It smacked against the side of the wall.
Commented on July 29th, 2007 at 3:52 am
Michael said:

How much money did you have to ask for to show your neighbor naked?

Okay.. this doesn’t really do all that much for the stereotype of the square British persona.

Was that guy really that bad? Maybe he was faking it.
Commented on July 29th, 2007 at 3:56 am
Andrew Odlum said:

It is really a shame that his G was off. That is just a terrible tragedy indeed.

“Don’t sound so surprised next time.”

Ah, good times.

-Andrew the monitor guy-
Commented on July 29th, 2007 at 4:09 am
Colin Brooks said:

I am not sure what you were trying to say there…

Well stereotypes still exist, that’s why they are stereotypes, even if they are not the rule.

Yeah, he was bad, even if he was faking it.

Commented on July 29th, 2007 at 4:18 am
Zeus said:

And wow…there goes my morning coffee…all over my computer screen…

Thanks, Colin!
Commented on July 31st, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Colin Brooks said:

Sorry… *stares at shoes* I hate it when I make people waste their coffee but I love it when I make them laugh. It’s so hard to choose between the two!

Commented on July 31st, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Luka said:

that’s frickin hilarious! i would SO not wanna hear somebody yelling during sex!
Commented on August 3rd, 2007 at 6:56 am
Colin Brooks said:

Luka, you are right, it’s not a good thing to hear. Bad things is that the guy was at it again last night… I suppose he doesn’t read my blog.

Commented on August 7th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Luka said:

i guess we can TRY to look on the bright side. at least he’s happy
Commented on August 7th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Pandora said:

Question is - is she happy? XD
Commented on August 7th, 2007 at 6:51 pm