Next time, before you get out of the shower, make sure the blinds are closed. The guys in the sports bar across the street aren’t amused by that kind of a show even though they will still whistle (I think it’s their instinct to do so).

Coffee smells good and it’s nice to smell it when it’s freshly ground. However, do not overdo it. Snorting coffee is not as pleasant as drinking it and if you are smelling it from the mug where you’ve just poured freshly brewed coffee, it will burn the insides of your nose causing your eyes to water.

Blogs don’t write themselves. Also, blogs don’t read themselves either. Start catching up already!

For once in your life, learn from your mistakes. Next time you feel a sneeze coming on… Put. The. Coffee. Down.

Listening to Japanese pop while drunk will totally fuck your brain up and cause the weirdest dreams!

Don’t drink Red Bull when you’re bored. It will drive you mad.

Do not shop online when you’ve just woken up or you’ll end up ordering stuff that are out of stock again. New rule: Coffee is required before clicking any “Complete Order” buttons.

The twilight zone theme song is not an appropriate start up sound for a computer

Even though the hair-wax stick and the deodorant stick are exactly the same size and shape, they produce very different results. Remember to open your eyes in the morning from now on.

Buying condoms, while you’re on the phone, talking to your mom, is very awkward. Don’t attempt again!