I am back in Brighton and I am very happy to report it. I arrived yesterday afternoon and have been trying to sort out my room since. I left it a complete mess because I was in a hurry when I was packing. It is true that I don’t practice light travelling like I have mentioned before but I’m also very indecisive.

I remember I was throwing things into and back out of the suitcase while my brother was next to me smoking and freaking out quietly. He was freaking out because I was supposed to help him pack his stuff and what he was witnessing was far from relaxing or reassuring.

Back to the point. I am back in Brighton and have a shitload of things to do. Mostly University stuff which most of the times are very boring but I will cope because that’s me.

I always somehow cope. I switch to hyper mode and with the aid of caffeine and a few self inflicted slaps, I get the job done. However, the meltdown is unavoidable. It happens throughout my caffeine induced hyper state. I have managed to use this to my benefit though, so all is well, even though I’m freaking out the freaks at the time.

I had no idea how that looks from an outsider’s perspective until last year. I was at a friend’s place where we were both doing some coursework. She had prepared most of it from before I even started. I arrived, saw what she had done, freaked out, had coffee and stayed there for 3 (or was it 4?) days in a row with no sleep. All I did was coursework. I hardly even ate. She, on the other hand, took regular breaks and had naps. At the end of it I had done way more than her. A couple of days later (when I had finally emerged from my long sleep) she approached me. The conversation went something like this:

- Can I ask you something very personal?
- You can but that doesn’t guarantee my answering you.
- Do you take drugs?
- No, I’ve told you before. I don’t. Why do you ask?
- Because of the other night when we were doing that coursework. I have never seen another person do so much so quick with no sleep and not look tired.

I think at that point I started laughing. I realised that she had a point and then she finished me off:

- Imagine what you could do if you took drugs!

I guess I could probably orbit the earth twice or dig my way to China. What do you think I could do?

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frustration et al.

Written by Colin Brooks on 08.01.06 at 9:46 am.