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May
25

My un-Australian toilet

Australia is the driest continent on Earth and one of the few first world nations to post consistant population growth. Where I live it is illegal and punishable to wash your car, hose the garden or run a sprinkler. Water fountains and pools are regularly drained and there is talk of further reducing water pressure in order to reduce consumption.

We’re an clever lot down here and have done many things to restrict our water usage, including, but not limited to: The dual flush toilet. This technology, which after a few decades is now catching on overseas, allows the user to select either a ‘full flush’ or a ‘half flush,’ depending upon their needs.

My toilet is old and does not have this function so in order to compensate I generally don’t flush after I urinate. This can be problomatic as at times I spend a lot of time at work and use their dual flush toilet. When your toilet smells like devon sausage, you know it’s time to flush.

Other water saving measures I have taken smell less. For example, I have recently given up brushing my teeth with toothpaste and water, but instead use toothpaste and whiskey. Further more, by releasing as many green house gases as possible I’m helping to keep our water levels up by melting polar ice caps, however this is only a short term solution like drinking beer in lieu of water.

I personally think that “Wet ‘n’ Wild Water Park” should simply donate their water to the community and coat their slides with teflon, but again this is only a temporary solution.

Suggestions please?

Related posts:
We’re off to see the Wizard!
A funny thing happened to me on the toilet…
A list of Australianisms
and then, steve did it, again
A shorter comedy

2 Responses to “My un-Australian toilet”

  1. i though the mantra in Oz, was if its yellow, let it mellow, if its brown, flush it down or something along those lines.
    my toilet is one of these dual flush jobs, mainly because i have a water meter fitted to the flat - it not usual in the UK to have a water meter, the amount you pay is related to the value of your home back in 1991 or some year like that

    Commented on May 25th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
  2. If it’s brown, drink it down, if it’s black send it back. ;)
    Commented on May 27th, 2007 at 5:40 am

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