next time I’ll have that coffee and skip the misery

You wake up at 6 in the evening because you slept at 10 in the morning. Your sleeping schedule is too screwed up to bother thinking about it right now. Something’s not right, you had another weird dream. You think it’s a good idea to not have any coffee now because your new-found optimism suggests that this will help you sleep at a more appropriate time for a change.

You are wrong, not only will this not help but you will also be cranky for the rest of your waking hours. Admitting it is the first step and you, my sad, slow-thinking and profoundly clumsy self have become addicted to caffeine. All these coffee flavoured years of your life have come back to bite you in the ass but you’re not sorry you did it. In fact, you’d do it again.

You haven’t blogged for days and you haven’t shaved in as many. Your summer vacation has taken a weird and unexpected turn. Unexpected because you recently received some wonderful news which does not explain why you feel so miserable right now. You should be on a constant high.

The papers were congratulating you. You are now a scientist. Well, you’re a “Computer Scientist” but saying just “scientist” is funnier. This is another thing you haven’t told the internets. Your results were better than what you expected and you’ll be graduating next week. Hurrah! You realise that things will be different in your life from now on but then you remember.

“Oh…!” There was another envelope. You were offered a place at that Masters degree course you applied to. You feel like uni will never be over. You’ll be the eternal student having a heart attack while frantically trying to take notes of what the lecturer is talking about. Of course you’re complaining, it’s in your nature, and after this last year it’s become the only way you can communicate. You find things to complain about even when the news are great.

You realise you wrote a whole post referring to yourself in the second-person. You loathe yourself.

10 thoughts on “next time I’ll have that coffee and skip the misery

  1. Well done on the results! I have my degree certificate but it doesn’t seem real at all..probably because like you I have been offered a msc place too so it really won’t ever end!

    Never say no to coffee is my life motto :mrgreen:

  2. It’s the stress of change, I think. And there’s a huge viewpoint change from “student” to “scientist” – and of course all that shopping for lab coats!

    Hang in there and cut yourself some slack. You’ve done well!

  3. Sometimes you just need to allow yourself to feel like shit. You’ll cycle back but often these times are effective in helping your self awareness.

    Geez, that sounds more shrinklike than intended.

  4. Now, all you need is another slight attitude adjustment and you can have your business card printed with:
    “admin – Evil Scientist”

  5. Now, all you need is another slight attitude adjustment and you can have your business cards printed:

    “admin – Evil Scientist” 😈


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