For some reason, unknown to me so far, I suffer from insomnia on Sunday nights. I just can’t sleep! My mind keeps going a million miles per second while my body is stuck in my bed. You know what that causes? Let’s just say that my duvet is not very happy about it and the same goes for my pillows. I toss and turn and then toss some more. I get upset and throw one of the pillows to the other side of the bed. Damn those seagulls are sure loud. Is it me or have they been getting louder recently? I reach and grab it the pillow and pull it over my head. They don’t seem to bother me any other night of the week. Why do they bother me on Sundays? I try to close my eyes and relax but that brings back the thinking and oh dear, there’s so much going on in that brain of mine!

I think of all the things I want to do this week. I think of the things I wanted to do last week but never got round to doing because “I’m so busy all the time” or “so tired all the time” or just plain “too lazy”. Then I think that I’m hungry:
- No, I can’t be hungry I just ate the entire universe there can’t possibly be any room left for any more but just to be on the safe side I shall invade the fridge.
- Nop, I’m not craving anything in there but I guess I’ll have a pickle and some sausage.
- Wow, that tasted horrible. I’m just full of great ideas at 3 o’clock in the morning.

I go back to bed and I try to find a comfortable way to position myself. I close my eyes:
- Oh, I never blogged about that incident the other day about that guy walking past me close enough for me to smell his leather jacket.
- And what’s with the leather in the middle of summer? I mean sure, it’s not like we are having a very warm summer anyway but a leather jacket is kind of an overkill even for a guy with a leather fetish.
- I wonder what it is about leather that turns these guys on anyway.
- Or PVC, what is it about black plastic that’s so sexy?
- Oh, black plastic, I must remember to take out the rubbish in the morning.
- Oh, and take that half-empty bottle of milk with me to work. It’ll be a shame to go to waste since it expires tomorrow. I need some milk with my first coffee and it’ll save me a trip to the off-license.
- I must remember not to drink too much coffee again tomorrow. I don’t want to start buzzing again and overwork myself. Like my friend Lee the poor guy was ill on Friday because of working too much and being stressed about work.
- Oh I must remember to text him tomorrow and see if he’s feeling better.
- I think I need to pee.

So then I get up and go to the toilet. That’s when I realise how dirty the floor of my bedroom looks. Now not only do I not feel like sleeping but I’m overcome with this great desire to vacuum the flat:
- I’m sure my neighbours would love me if I did that.
- Or if I played some music really loud. But it has to be really weird music. Something that will grab their attention. Something annoying.
- Oh, it’s times like these that I wish I had even one of Bjork’s songs somewhere.
- How can she still sell albums. She doesn’t sing, she doesn’t rhyme and the music sucks as well!
- Why do some people fight me on this if I bring it up in a conversation?
- Oh yes, of course, that would be different taste in music. More like “distaste in music”! Wow, that was such an American bubble-gum blonde kind of joke. I feel like I should be in one of those “high school or college coming of age films” right now.
- But I shouldn’t, I don’t look good in a blonde wig and I can’t pull off an American accent anyway.
- I should practice it though! Not wearing a blonde wig but the accent would be funny!
- Actually I should practice other accents as well and get at least half decent at them.
- Last time I tried doing an accent it was really embarrassing. Everyone I tried to do sounded Indian. That is not funny, that is racist! And I am not racist!
- I wonder how come most of the people from India here have that accent. Even though they have been living here for so many years they still have it. Do they have it in their genes or something?
- It’s very likely they have made some ridiculous claim like this at some point though.
- They should find that gene and cure it. And they should cure homosexuality as well while they’re at it.
- Oh look what I’ve done now. I’ve gone and upset myself.
- I’ll never manage to fall asleep now!
zzzZZZZ…

Related posts:
every day is like Monday, at least until Friday
my body is getting tired, am i getting old mama?
oh no! not another monday!!!
getting over my emo tendencies
all the “new Madonna album” tweets in one place

Written by Colin Brooks on 16.07.07 at 4:03 am.