There’s something about writing while on a carefree (and sometimes careless) holiday that I can’t define but which makes me want to skip the task. I don’t want to document it; I want to live it. No bookmarks, just bookends. It started in June and it ends now. It is, most likely, my last long summer holiday during which I don’t have anything to deal with. No job, no school, just the warm sun and salty skin.

I wanted to simply enjoy the summer. To make no plans but simply live it the way it comes. Experience that incredible loss of control, like when you sneeze, fart and pee simultaneously. To turn my brain off for a bit and just be. A nice, slightly tanned, vegetable with no thoughts, no worries, no past and no future. Just the now.

Unfortunately, my brain has forgotten how to do this after all these years and it now runs wild non stop. Unless I am reading a book or watching a film, my brain will get itself onto a train of non-sequential thoughts. It will jump from one coach to another and sometimes even switch trains as they whoosh past each other. Taking me to the past; contemplating how I finally ended up here. 4 years of uni, past romances, old friends, lost friends, new friends, jobs, dreams, nightmares, problems, solutions, resolutions, right choices, wrong ones, regrets and no regrets.

It also tries to take me to the future. Tries to make me decide what I want, must or can do to move on to the next step. You see, no matter how much I attempt to trick it into believing that I am a child, it knows I’m not. I’m an adult with a Computer Science degree and will soon (it scares me how soon) be starting a Masters. Where will this take me, where should I let it take me and where must I make it take me? I don’t want to decide all that right now although I must definitely start thinking about it. So, I have a solution. I’ll just go towards the water again and take a swim, because, you see, I’m at the beach and the lack of something to read is what caused my brain to roam like that.

Here’s to the end of a well deserved summer holiday and the beginning of an exciting academic year.

*dives*

Related posts:
Topical Tuesday #10 :: Favourite Memories
a quick visit
this might be the worst post in the history of this blog! read at your own risk. oh, and i hate mondays…
what, no fat lady singing?
1 to go (I suck at goodbyes)

Written by Colin Brooks on 10.09.08 at 10:16 pm.