update :: mum’s doing okay
I spoke with my father earlier. It turns out that he is a liar and quite a good one too. I always wondered where I got my skills from. Both him and my mum are good liars and so am I. When I was in school and I was caught doing something I shouldn’t I would lie and since I was one of the naughty ones I usually lied a lot. My friends back then used to tell me I should become an actor or a lawyer (ha!). I ignored them because I would never make it as an actor since I’m not pretty enough and I could never imagine myself being a lawyer!
My mother had her operation today to remove the tumour from her head. For those of you just tuning in, she was found to have a lipoma in her head which is a benign tumour or fatty tissue and that tumour was pressing against some nerves which was causing the nasty headaches she’s been having for a while now (if I remember well, it’s been a few years). The operation was successful but what my father hadn’t told me was that the tumour was not a lipoma for sure.
The doctors run a biopsy and it was finally cleared out that it was in fact a lipoma and not the “devil’s illness”, as my aunt refers to it. My mother is doing okay and is still recovering from the procedure but will have to stay in the hospital for more days than what my dad had told me. She’s still under observation and heavily medicated. However she has my aunts to keep her company as well as my dad and for when nobody can be there my dad has hired a private nurse to attend to her needs.
I was very close to going over to see her even if that meant I would have to put everything else aside and tire myself out with a very long trip. My dad suggested I didn’t because there was no need for me to be there but I wasn’t convinced. The only thing that convinced me was thinking about it.
I know my mother and I know how she would feel if I were to show up there. She would be happy, glad and moved that I was there but she would also feel guilty that I dropped everything to be there. I didn’t need to make a pro con list, I knew that making her feel guilty that her situation brought me there was not right. I could not do that because she hardly takes care of herself as it is and she won’t go to the doctor because she’s afraid something might be wrong with her which would inconvenience me or the rest of our family. I’m exactly like that too so I know that my not going there was the best choice I could make.
So, the news for now is that my mum is doing okay and recovering from the operation. The tumour was successfully removed and it was in fact just a lipoma. And I am drinking wine straight out of the bottle because my insomnia is still with me and I need something to numb my brain so that I don’t think about things.
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then i dropped the plate back into the sink and went back to give him a big hug
Woohoo! Three cheers for Mom! Happy for you both!
Commented on May 15th, 2008 at 6:17 amsending good thoughts for your mom!
Commented on May 15th, 2008 at 8:13 amI am so glad the tumour was benign and that it is finally out.
The next bit I hesitate to type, but I think it needs to be said - the alcohol is not going to help your insomnia long term, get thee to a GP.
I know you’ve been going through a complete shithole of a time lately, but you *need* to keep it together, matey. And I speak as someone who completely trashed her own degree over finals with a combination of Glandular Fever and my granddad dying, so I know of whence I speak. Just for a few more months - you CAN do it.
Regular patterns of bedtime, regular exercise, cutting out the alcohol, relaxation exercises - these can all help with the insomnia, but really I’m guessing the insomnia is yet another symptom of depression and alcohol is just helping to mask that, am I right?
Please, please *please* go see the GP, chat about the insomnia, chat about the depression. Avoid the offy for the next few days. Try and get out in the fresh air and go for walks to clear your head.
Oh and shed loads of chocolate helps too… apparently
Commented on May 15th, 2008 at 8:37 amSorry to hear that your mum had to have such a delicate surgery and that it was so nerve wracking for you.
Having had my share of parental health issues I can understand what it’s like to be the adult child of a parent who is ill.
Make sure you are taking care of yourself.
XOXO
Commented on May 15th, 2008 at 11:23 amSending you, your mom and family healing thoughts.
Colin, as Lisa said please take care of yourself. <3
Commented on May 15th, 2008 at 2:48 pmI am so glad she did well on the surgery. That is wonderful news. Now you need to put down the bottle young man and take care of yourself as well.
Commented on May 15th, 2008 at 4:34 pmgood to know she’s doing ok and that the lipoma is out now.
gotta love how parents like to withold some information right? crazy.
Commented on May 15th, 2008 at 7:26 pmgigglechick :: Thank you very much sweetie. I really appreciate it!
Pewari :: I should, shouldn’t I? It’s good you said it and you don’t need to hesitate to say things like that. Thank you. I am feeling depressed and I had the wine to make myself feel a little better. I will make an appointment to go see a GB as soon as possible. That is good advice. In all this I completely didn’t think about myself.
Lisa :: Thank you very much hun. I need to worry a bit about myself as well. I’m not doing very well it seems and I hadn’t noticed it.
Divalicious :: You are very sweet. Thank you. I will do just that.
melanie :: Already put it down and will try to not pick it up again. I’m not an alcoholic. It was just an instinct so I followed it.
yoshi :: Thanks. I know, it’s crazy! I know they have the best intentions but I really hate it when they do that.