I woke up from a dream where everything around me was misty. Thick fog was blurring my surroundings and I had no idea where I was headed. I was following the road I was on thinking that this was the best way to not get lost. When I opened my eyes the sun was shining and warming my bed through the bedroom window. I could feel the gentle morning sun warmth on my skin. Not being a morning person means that I do not express anything for at least the first 30 minutes of being awake (on my best days) but I was smiling on the inside. I was smiling because the nastiness of the past few weeks is over. The weather is getting warmer every day and it feels like summer every time I go outside.

Guys in just flip-flops and shorts are walking around or sunbathing in the parks. Girls in their most casual clothes are basking in the sun and drinking brightly coloured frozen drinks. Young children are playing at the beach. Older people are sitting in deck chairs chatting away while the sun reddens their skin. I am walking past them all in my usual fast pace wishing that I could be one of them even for only an hour. They all look so carefree and at that very moment I get pulled into their lives. Suddenly I am a young boy throwing pebbles in the sea trying to make a bigger splash than the rest of my recently met friends. I am a mother of 3 smiling as I take a photo of my children acting goofy. I am an old man walking my dog along the seafront with the help of a walking cane. Just like that, I’m there imagining what they are thinking and feeling. I am not imagining what their lives are like but what they are feeling that very moment. They seem happy.

I keep walking and I can’t help but notice that everyone looks happy. Hell, even I am looking happy. It doesn’t matter that I have a very difficult month ahead of me. It doesn’t matter that this month is what will judge whether the last 4 years of my life have been successful or I should had spent my time and money in something else. The only thing that matters is that in exactly a month from today I will be finished with this course. I will not be bound by coursework. I will be able to enjoy my summer and choose my next steps.

The dream was true; I don’t know where I am headed but I am following that road. The road will soon take me to the next town and the fog will clear by the time I get there. Where I go from there is a whole different trip but until then I will remember all this and keep that smile on my face no matter how stressed I get. The wonderful weather will make it harder to stay inside and study but it will elevate my mood and a good mood is vital when preparing for final exams. Final! That word gives me goosebumps!

Off I go!

Related posts:
*whistles innocently* leeeeet the sunshiiiine, let the suuuunshine in
have i lost the will to live?
i hear voices (proper ones)
frustration et al.
a quick visit

Written by Colin Brooks on 07.05.08 at 4:58 pm.