what is the opposite of a mother’s day present?

I received some bad news last week. My mum has been having some very bad headaches lately. She has been taking pain killers but they would always come back. I have asked her, begged her to go see a doctor. She never did. She kept saying she would but never actually arranged to go. I am very much like my mother. I take after her in more than one ways especially personality-wise. I do not go to doctors. I know I should and I keep saying I will but I end up never going. Exactly like my mother.

Last week the headaches got pretty bad and my dad took her to see a doctor. The tests showed a tumour. That was the bad news. The good news were that the tumour was benign. It is a lipoma which is nothing more than fatty tissue which is normally left untouched unless there are cosmetic reasons to remove it. In the case of my mother however the lipoma is pressing against a nerve (or possibly more than one) in her head which is causing the headaches and from what I understand the nausea she was experiencing last week as well.

Today she was admitted to hospital. She is having a lot of tests done. She is spending Mother’s Day in a bed. She has to remain still and is not going to sleep because of that. But that, for me, is not the worse thing.

The worse thing is that she is alone. I am not there because I can’t be there. She is too far away for me to visit. I am close to tears because I can’t be there for her. There’s nothing I can do about it and it’s killing me. A phone call is not enough but it’s all we have right now. I tried to be strong on the phone and as cheerful as possible. The last thing she needs is a boy crying over the phone right now. I laughed and joked and did my best to give her as much strength as possible. People have told me this is not a dangerous procedure and that I shouldn’t worry but all this means nothing because the truth is I am too scared of losing her. You know what the first thing she said on the phone was? That she’s sorry but it looks like she won’t be able to be here for my finals. She is the most powerful person I know and I can only wish to be half the person she is.

Mum, I love you.

14 thoughts on “what is the opposite of a mother’s day present?

  1. Aw, Colin I am so very sorry.. that is tough. I know what it is like to be so far away from family who are in the hospital and the only thing to keep in touch is phone. Phone is better than nothing xoxoxoxo

    both of you are in my thoughts

  2. *hugs* to you my friend. I will keep your mom in my prayers. What a crappy Mother’s Day 🙁

    It’s tough being away from Mom. I live about 7-9 hours (depending on traffic) by car and I can’t afford to go see her. I would FREAK if something happened to her. *hugs*

  3. I can’t imagine a better tribute to a Mother than words like that from her son. Well done man, well done.

    Here’s to a speedy recovery and nothing but good news back from the tests!

  4. my parents live in nj, and i live in wa. of course, they’re moving closer to me next month, for the very reason they want to be near family. it sucks when you’re so far away and you can’t do anything about it. What really sucked for me was that if anything did happen it would take a lot of money to fly out to NJ and stay there. so yeah I can sympathize for you. I had to go through the same thing when my dad went through a mild stroke. Actually my sister and i didn’t even know until later. crazy.

    But yeah, i’m sure all will be well. I’ve got surgery this week as well. me and your mom will go through it all together. 😛

  5. I second Abraxus on what a fine tribute to your Mum that is. Sounds like you are a pretty great son, too.

    I will be thinking of you both over the next few days – I hope the tests go well and that she recovers quickly.

  6. I am praying everything goes well with our mum and she makes a speedy recovery. I know how disappointed you are that you can’t be there, but I am sure she understands. Big hugs to you and yours.

  7. Well, the “benign” part is good. I hope she gets through this quickly. I’m sure she knows how much you care, even if you’re far away.

  8. What a wonderfully nice tribute to your Mum, Colin. Sending well-wishes to both you and her thru all of this. Judging from your earlier post it’s probably best that you were supportive, kept your composure and put up a good front. Otherwise, she might’ve tried to leave the hospital to come support you, again. 😉

    Keep a stiff upper lip, old chap and this too will pass. 😕

    Perhaps we’ll meet when things are better if you come to NYC this Summer.

  9. Your Mom is in my thoughts. Benign is better than the alternative, but the hospital on Mother’s Day is crappy. My parents live on the other side of town. The possibility of distance between us has been brought up lately, and I don’t know quite how I’ll handle it if it becomes reality.

    Hang in there *hugs*

  10. Amie :: Thank you very much! You are very sweet.

    Heather :: Thank you very much sweetie. Indeed, the phone calls are better than nothing although I can’t call whenever I want and she can’t call because she cannot reach the phone since she is hooked to an IV and can’t move freely. xoxo

    Sodapop :: Thank you so much! Living so far away from your parents is really hard in cases like this. *hugs*

    Abraxus :: Thank you. I am very emotionally attached to my mother. Actually both my parents. They are both incredible people. The results from the tests have been good so far so everything is going well.

    yoshi :: Wow, it must had been very hard for you to find that out. It happened to me last year, or was it 2 years ago, anyway I can’t remember. My mum had to do an operation and my parents didn’t tell me anything about it just so I would not worry. I was actually very upset about it and it made me think it was worse than it actually was. They promised they wouldn’t hide anything like that from me again but I think that they would had hidden this from me as well if she didn’t have to stay in the hospital for so long. They don’t want me to worry or have any added stress right now because of everything I have going on with Uni right now.

    cybrpunk :: Things are going okay and I think I am not as worried as I was yesterday but I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t concentrate on anything right now.

    Pewari :: Thank you. You are very sweet. The tests so far are good and she is scheduled to have the surgery on Wednesday. I probably won’t be able to talk to her on the day as today she mentioned that she’ll call me when she can tomorrow and then we’ll speak on Thursday. Wow, the more I think about it the more I panic. I keep making scenarios in my head. Paranoid-much? I’m sure everything will be okay. I just have to think positive.

    melanie :: Thank you so much! A hug is definitely something I could use today. *hugs back*

    annie :: Thank you very much. Yes, the fact that it’s just a lipoma is good. She knows how much I care and I think that’s why she’s not sounding more worried on the phone. I know her and she must be a wreck from all the worrying right now.

    Etienne :: Thank you very much! Well she won’t be able to travel after the operation anyway and I am very careful on the phone right now. I try not to worry my parents even if I am extremely stressed. I just joke and laugh about all the things I have to do so that none of them shows up at my door out of the blue again. I haven’t seen you around here before are you new? If so, it’s very nice to have you here and yes if I ever make it to NYC this summer we can definitely meet. You can show me all the cool places.

    diz :: Thank you the hug. I really appreciate it. Being far away is okay only if when something happens you’re not too busy to go see them. For me this is the worst time this could have ever happened as I have some coursework left to do and then I start my final exams for my degree. Yeah, the fact that she had to go in on that day was really bad but at least once this is over she will be feeling a lot better. *hugs*

  11. Ugh, Colin I’m so sorry. I know I have been a bad blogging friend lately, trying to catch up and saw this.

    I hope everything will be OK. I know what it’s like to be away from family when something happens and it’s not easy to deal with. And coincidentally when my dad was taken into hospital it was during the last few weeks of my first degree at Derby uni – I didn’t handle it well, I am sure you will do much better than me.

    Anyway, I am thinking if you and hope you get through your final few days at uni. I will try and be better at dropping in on you.


  12. Sarah :: Don’t worry about it. I do miss reading your posts though so you’d better get your act together missy and start blogging again! Thanks a lot for the wishes. My mum is already doing a lot better. She had surgery and the tumour was removed. She’s at home now and the doctor says she can go back to her normal routine.

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