what, no manual?

because you need instructions I bought a new lighter today and when I looked closely I noticed a new sticker on it. Seriously? Instructions? You mean it’s not magic? Do you not just invoke the god of fire and hope your prayers will be answered? Have I been doing it wrong this whole time?

Honestly though, I will need more than that. Do you have a 0800 number I could call? You see, I was born a blond and I thought I got over it but things like this keep reminding me I may not have and the extra support could prove useful. This is the only way I can look at it. Seeing it in any different way will make me feel like you’re insulting me and my intelligence. Mine and everyone else’s.

As a neurotic member of our society I am deeply worried about this. Shouldn’t it be that if you don’t know how to use a lighter then you shouldn’t be allowed to have one? Wouldn’t that be the best idea? Keep the idiots away from the fire breathing machine? Because, in my book, if someone picks up a lighter and goes “But how?” then they are an idiot.

Is it a marketing idea? Did someone complain? What on earth made you come up with this? Please explain, because I feel dumb and it’s all your fault. I need answers and preferably not on a sticker.

11 thoughts on “what, no manual?

  1. Yes, but if you don’t show them how to use the lighter, then they might be forced to use the stove. And that…that could be very, very dangerous.

  2. To be honest, I seriously can never get a lighter to work. I know how to make it work, it just doesn’t until like the 30th try. Good thing I don’t ever need to use one lol.

  3. Katie :: Hahahaha! You’ve got such an infectious laugh! <3 (yes, I'm being silly again)

    Amie :: I hadn't thought of that... I'm very scared now. They should start an awareness campaign or something! *craps pants*

    Heather :: It's all in the fingers. 😛

  4. diz :: If you don’t smoke then you have very little need for a lighter and you could use matches instead if you want to light a candle or something. I have never met a person who couldn’t light a lighter. You guys are my first ones. 😛

  5. Oh, Lord, what will they have to have instructions for next?

    I don’t like those lighters, though, they’re not as good as “Bics”.
    Here’s a dumb question – do you have “Bic” lighters over there and do they have instructions, also?

  6. annie :: I agree, they are better but they have no instructions on them. They are not widely sold here though. They prefer to sell the very cheap ones that stop working within the week. I don’t mind since I usually lose my lighters by then or someone borrows it and never returns it.

  7. Divalicious :: I’m glad it made you giggle! 😀 Matches can be a bit tricky sometimes for me too. Besides I prefer something I can reuse and not dispose of immediately and then have to light another if my first attempt failed. It’s good you don’t smoke. I should quit too.

    Meesh :: You’re not one of them (even though your gravatar suggests otherwise)! I’m sure you don’t need instructions on how to light or use a lighter. ➡

Leave a Reply