I bought a new lighter today and when I looked closely I noticed a new sticker on it. Seriously? Instructions? You mean it’s not magic? Do you not just invoke the god of fire and hope your prayers will be answered? Have I been doing it wrong this whole time?
Honestly though, I will need more than that. Do you have a 0800 number I could call? You see, I was born a blond and I thought I got over it but things like this keep reminding me I may not have and the extra support could prove useful. This is the only way I can look at it. Seeing it in any different way will make me feel like you’re insulting me and my intelligence. Mine and everyone else’s.
As a neurotic member of our society I am deeply worried about this. Shouldn’t it be that if you don’t know how to use a lighter then you shouldn’t be allowed to have one? Wouldn’t that be the best idea? Keep the idiots away from the fire breathing machine? Because, in my book, if someone picks up a lighter and goes “But how?” then they are an idiot.
Is it a marketing idea? Did someone complain? What on earth made you come up with this? Please explain, because I feel dumb and it’s all your fault. I need answers and preferably not on a sticker.